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Joy of SEX- Orgasmic Knowings

lovers llustration 11- 2 lovers entwined- Ann Rothan

Sex is a human experience that has influenced the course of history of entire civilizations, as well as being a formative force in the life of individuals. Humans are one of the only species that use sex for recreation, not only procreation. (Dolphins are also documented to engage in bisexual activity regularly, not only during fertile seasons.) Sexual activity is steeped in spirituality and mysticism. The schizophrenic nature of humankind’s struggle with the powerful sexual force can be seen by the attempt to both deify and totally repress sexuality. These opposing views come in and out of favor as the accepted social protocol in various societies throughout the ages. The voluptuous erotic sculptures and artwork that adorns the ancient Hindu temples of India reflects the divine bliss experienced at the instant of orgasm- sexual transcendence. While other religious teachings take great pains to cover all parts of the body with non-erotic apparel in an attempt to sublimate the sexual nature. Civilizations throughout the ages use sexuality as a conduit to transcend usual life experiences. The Kama Sutra is an ancient text that describes sexual positions in detail. Wilhelm Reich, an associate of Sigmund Freud, describes the energy released during orgasm as ‘orgone energy’, which if used wisely, can decrease or reverse the aging process. Tantric yoga investigates the use of the exchange of male and female energy to consciously experience life as anandrogynous ‘full spectrum’ of reality, where male and female learn sexual techniques to consciously share life force energy . Wicca uses sexual ritual to influence the forces of nature. There is a continuum of female sexual expression tha tcan be represented by the pure Virginal Essence of the Mother Mary and the Harlotimage of Mary Magdellan. Women are free to choose to incorporate either or both into their own self expression. Perhaps the middle path is the road most traveled,with different phases being expressed at different times.

Sex After Menopause

Of all the complaints and fears that women express about the effects of menopause,the possibility of the loss of sexuality is most pervasive. However, a recent study indicates that “Little difference was found between age-matched subgroups of pre-and postmenopausal women in frequency of sexual behavior and attitudes towardstheir sexual relationships .”(10) In this study 436 women were assessed. Outcomes indicated that while frequency of sexual encounters decreased somewhat with age,enjoyment and satisfaction associated with sex was not related to age. In a very real sense, the old adage, ‘if you don’t use it, you loose it’, applies to sexual function.Women who continue to experience sexual stimulation, either with a partner or via masturbation exhibit less thinning and drying of the vagina after menopause.(11)

Low Libido

Woman of any age may experience a lessening of libido. This is often due to health conditions that lead to fatigue, stress, unhappy emotional relationships, poor nutritionand many other factors. There are also times when a woman may choose topurposely lessen her sexual focus and activity, such as while pursuing a time ofinternal self reflection and growth.

Techniques to Enhance Sexuality

Diet: The same diet that is used to detoxify the body and control excess aggressive estrogen will also balance hormone function, which leads to better sexual health.Certain foods are believed to increase sexuality. These include Oats, Sea Vegetables, Green Foods, and shellfish, especially oysters.

Visualization: Using the mind to focus on erotic images can enhance the production of sex hormones. This can be a personal mind’s eye ‘movie’ created by the individual, or it can be through the use of videos, photos or other visual stimulation.

Exercise: Regular exercise is paramount for increased sexual activity. Exercise tones, strengthens, and increases endurance. Both the psychological effects of having a positive self image, and the physical effects of balanced hormone production and endorphin(feel good chemicals) release that accompanies regular exercise helps out with sexual fitness. The sex act is in itself good exercise! It increases intra-cellular oxygenation, releases a lot of endorphins, slightly lowers ‘bad’ cholesterol, increases estrogen production in women (especially in menopause), and testosterone in both men and women, regulates menstrual cycles, increases the production of adrenal hormones, and has advantages of aerobic exercise, such as using up calories and burning fat.

The Kegel Exercise is an exercise that is particularly effective at enhancing the sexual experience. This movement strengthens the muscles surrounding the vagina, the pubococcygeus(PC) muscle. It also has the benefit of avoiding or curing the problem of weak bladder control. The Kegel exercise is beneficial to both men and women. Exercising the PC muscle increases local blood and nutrient supplies, tones and increases elasticity and power, and can lead to enhanced sexual sensitivity and more intense orgasms! Quite a lot of benefit from an exercise that can be done anywhere, anytime, with no one knowing you are doing it.

Kegel Exercise Instructions:

While you are urinating, attempt to stop the stream of fluid. Hold for a few seconds, then release again. Do this several times. Continue to practice during every urination until you know how to ‘isolate’ the PC muscle.

Now incorporate the exercise in your daily life- not only while urinating. Squeeze the muscle and hold for 2 seconds, then release. Repeat five times. Do this 2-3 times/day. As you become comfortable increase the time you hold, and add repetitions. More advanced practice includes clamping the anal sphincter, and adding in a ‘bearing down’ movement.. all without contracting the buttocks.

To aid in remembering to do the Kegel, you can coordinate it along with other daily life activities, such as brushing your teeth. The time spent commuting to work is ideal. What better way is there to stay stress free in a traffic jam, than to allow your mind to enjoy a sexual fantasy while you Kegel!

Herbs to Enhance The Joy of Sex

Womankind (and mankind too) has experimented with various plant substances throughout history in an endless search for useful aphrodisiacs. Many folkloric tales of sexual potency are linked to herbs. Although some of these stories are probably just wishful thinking, there are some herbs that have stood the test of time in their ability to stimulate and sustain sexuality, either during a particular love making session, or over a lifespan into advanced age.

Prepare a potent ‘love potion’:

Some of the herbs that enhance female sexuality include: Red Raspberry, Red Clover, Siberian Ginseng, Ginger, Oats, Damiana, Fenugreek and Kava kava.

Combine 20 drops of Extract of each herb in ½ cup warm water. Add ½ ounce of Amaretto or some other flavoured liquor. Relax and enjoy!

Deer Antler, although not technically an herb, has been prized in Chinese medicine for centuries as a sexual stimulant. The expression ‘horny’ may be linked to this fact. It is considered one of the strongest ‘yang’ tonics. This animal based product is harvested without harm to the animals, since they shed their antlers naturally. Scientific studies show that deer antler is useful for anemia. It can increase both the number of red blood cells as well as the amount of hemoglobin they contain. In women deer antler increases the strength of contraction and the tone of the uterus. It has an adaptogenic effect and increases overall strength and endurance, and decreases fatigue, as supported by tests done on athletes. Current research is linking the use of deer antler, as well as the velvet that is scraped off, to many health enhancing effects, including cartilage growth and repair, increase of IGF-1( an indicator of the amount of Human Growth Factor which tends to decrease with age), blood pressure and cholesterol balancing, enhanced immune function , and a decrease in stress related illness.

Panax Ginseng is recognized for thousands of years as a powerful tonic, which gives the user the strength and power of youth. Often called ‘Chinese Ginseng’, the shape of this root resembles the human form, and is a powerful sexual tonic, as well as an overall adaptogen.

Maca( Lepidium meyenii) , also called Peruvian Ginseng, although it is unrelated to ginseng, but part of the cruciferous vegetable family, like cabbage , kale and broccoli. It grows in Andes Mountains The part of the plant used is the tuberous root structure . It is high in essential fatty acids, minerals( phosphorus, calcium, magnesium, zinc), vitamins B, C and E, various phytosterols, and other nutritional factors known for their importance to sexual function. Research has uncovered specific compounds, macamides and macaenes, which showed a significant increase in sexual function in laboratory animals in controlled trials.( Urology, April 2000).

History reports that Incan warriors used maca before battle to increase strength and endurance. It has been used throughout recorded history up to the present day by both men and women as an aphrodisiac.

Muira Puama(Ptychopetalum olacoides) known as ‘Warrior Wood” and “ Potency Wood”, is used by the people of the northern Amazon area in Brazil for many health issues. It is considered a tonic for the neuromuscular system, and helps with joint pains, menstrual cramps, PMS symptoms and mental disturbance. The entire plant is used in medicinal preparations, and contains sterols, including beta-sitosterol, which may account for its activity as a sexual stimulant. Muira Puama is listed in the British Herbal Pharmacopoeia, and is recommended for the treatment of impotence. In Brazil , it is used by both men and women to increase libido and sexual performance. Studies in France have verified its usefulness for men for both increased libido and impotence.

Yohimbe( Pausinystalia yohimbe) is derived from bark stripped from a tall evergreen West African tree. In its native land Yohimbe may be made into a tea, smoked, or processed into a powder and sniffed. In the western world, yohimbine, the primary active constituent of yohimbe, is actually a prescription drug, yohimbine hydrochloride, used for erectile dysfunction in men. Yohimbe increases testosterone blood levels in both men and women, causing enhanced sex drive. It also stimulates circulation to the genitals. This is especially helpful for men with decreased penile circulation, and may offset vaginal atrophy in women. Dosage is important with this herb. Stick to the label directions on the product you are using. Do not use with kidney or liver disease, high blood pressure, or heart arrhythmias. Possible side effects include anxiety, increased blood pressure, and facial hair growth in women. The Journal of Urology (February 1998) reported that these side effects are infrequent and reversible. It is interesting to note that some people who experience these effects with the herbal extract have no problem taking the prescription drug!

Essential Oils and Lubricants

Essential oils can enhance the sexual experience in several ways. Scented oils set the ‘mood’ by stimulated our all important olfactory nerves. The sense of smell is closely linked to areas of the brain that regulate the release of hormones, including sex hormones.

When choosing essential oils, use pure oils from a health food store or order them from a high quality aromatherapy manufacturer. Commercial products that contain chemicals and fillers are often labeled as ‘Aromatherapy’, but they are not the right choice. Read the label carefully; especially “other ingredients.”

Essential Oil Use:

These oils are known for their aphrodisiac properties:

Ylang-ylang, Sandalwood, Patchouli, Rose, Musk, Jasmine and Vanilla

1) Rub a few drops of oil on a light bulb before turning on the light.

2) In a 2 ounce spritzer bottle, fill with spring water, add 5 drops of each oil, or any

combination of the ones you enjoy. Spray around the room, and on yourself

3) Add 5-10 drops of any combination of oils to a warm bath

4) for direct massage, add a few drops of essential oil to a ‘base’ oil,

such as sesame or almond oil. The essential oils are too strong to

put directly on the skin, especially delicate mucous membranes.

Lubricants:

The best sexual lubricant is natural vaginal secretions. Saliva also works well. When more lubrication is needed, there are many water-based commercial lubricants on the market. However, many of them tend to dry up very quickly. Here are two oil based products that I have found to work quite well as sexual lubricants:

1) Aura Glow Almond Scent by Heritage Products. This is an all-natural massage oil that works excellently well as an overall skin moisturizer. It is safe to use intra-vaginally. Available in Health Food Stores.

Albolene Liquifying Cleanser works well as a sexual lubricant for occasional use. It contains Mineral Oil and Paraffin, so it is not all natural, but is long lasting and
effective.

by Ellen Kamhi Ph.D., R.N.
The Natural Nurse

The Raging Libido Diet

By Sharon Krum

January 17, 2004, Saturday

Ditch the Viagra -the best night of sex you will ever have could be
waiting in the herb section at the health food store. Sharon Krum
reports

On paper Ellen Kamhi has all the attributes necessary for a successful
career as a porn star. She talks about sex with abundant enthusiasm
although, she points out, she prefers to perform it. She can’t look at a
banana or cucumber without referencing its anatomical equivalent. And
when she contorts herself into yoga poses she’s not seeking serenity but
deeper orgasms.

So it’s understandable that there is both surprise and disappointment
when people learn that Kamhi is no X-rated starlet but a middle-aged
nurse and practitioner of holistic medicine whose real and abiding
fetish isn’t sex (though she rates it highly) but food and herbs.

“I’ll never criticise modern medicine. There is definitely a place for
it in our lives,” says Kamhi, who has been dispensing herbal remedies
from her New York natural health practice for 30 years. “But I believe
herbs, vitamins and foods used in specific quantities can be as potent
as prescription drugs, yet with fewer or no side-effects. So when you
have a health problem, you should always look to nature first.”

Which brings her to sex, or rather, dysfunctional sex, which Kamhi
claims has become the new “it” disease of the pharmaceutical
industry.Given that people love sex and don’t look like giving it up any
time soon, new drugs that restore libido (for menopausal women) or
enhance performance (for impotent men) are a veritable licence to print
money.

In the US, ten Viagra pills cost about $ 150 (£81), leading many men to
order, via the internet, from Mexico, lowering the cost by 30 per cent.
Though Kamhi understands the rush to bring prescription drugs into the
bedroom, she insists that there is no need. In her new book The Natural
Guide to Great Sex: Improve Your Love Life with Nature’s Alternatives to
HRT and Viagra, she promises that sustained erections and heightened
arousal can be found inside the supermarket and health food store.

“Everybody wants great sex, so I understand this obsession with
pharmaceuticals,” says Kamhi, 52, who certainly looks like a walking
advertisement for natural supplements, with glowing skin and an energy
level double most women her age. “But you have to calculate the cost.
HRT we now know has serious implications for cancer. An adverse reaction
for Viagra is headaches, strokes, in some cases death.

“Foods and herbs have fewer side-effects. The difference is that people
have to be patient. Some herbal remedies work instantly; some take a
month or longer. But they do work,” she claims. Unbelievable? She swears
it is all based on science.

Interestingly, some men who seek out Kamhi don’t even exhibit symptoms
of sexual dysfunction, their problem is simply too much Sex and the City
and Britney Spears videos. “Younger men today are bombarded with sexual
images in the media, making their expectations enormous. They expect
fireworks every time and think they are not performing adequately, when
really they are having just fine sex.”

But for men experiencing genuine impotence, Kamhi treats them with the
herb yohimbe, which she says provides a similar level of stimulus and
blood flow to the penis as Viagra:

“Yohimbe is bark stripped from a tree in West Africa. It stimulates
circulation to the genitals and will become active within an hour of
use.” Kamhi insists that all her recommendations have been verified by
scientific studies done in Germany, the US or the UK.

Korean ginseng, she maintains, also works well as a stimulant directly
before sex.

“Studies have shown an increase in the duration of erection. But taking
Korean ginseng on an ongoing basis will also increase testosterone
levels.”

For general male sexual wellness, she recommends oysters (no, it’s not a
myth, she claims), which are high in zinc. “It is often low in men who
have sexual dysfunction. Adding foods high in zinc, like oysters, as
well as pumpkin seeds and pine nuts, is essential for a healthy sex
life.” As are oats, the bane of many a childhood breakfast. “Oats
boost
sex drive. They contain zinc, proteins and minerals needed to produce
healthy seminal fluids. Men should eat a bowl a day.”

They should, Kamhi also instructs, use ginger and cayenne pepper in
their food before sex. “They are warming herbs and increase circulation
to the genitals.”

And now for the don’ts: carbs, fats, alcohol and fish and chips. “When I
was in London in May, I was shocked how much bread and fat the English
eat. Carbs and fats lead to hardening of the arteries, which decreases
circulation to the genitals.” Fried foods, she argues, particularly a
regular diet of fish and chips, contain trans (hydrogenated) fats, which
decrease testosterone and increase abnormal sperm (in animals). Alcohol,
she points out, lowers sexual response, although most men know this. “If
men want great sex they should stick to a diet high in vegetables and
fish and low in carbs and fats. And they should eat oats.”

Women mercifully are spared a return to porridge but Kamhi says there
are foods and herbs they too should ingest daily to increase or restore
sexual health.

“Unlike men, women have a real shift towards a decreased sex drive as
they age due to the decline in hormones,” she says. “But there are
foods
and herbs that can increase libido and support the production of
oestrogen to reduce hot flushes, just like HRT.”

Soya, of course, is considered a magic pill for women in menopause but
Kamhi warns them to tread lightly. “One ounce a day of soya milk or
foods is fine. But too much can interfere with thyroid function.” Much
better is to have one pomegranate a day, a fruit which she says contains
a form of oestrogen called oestrone.

Similarly, fennel contains oestrogen-like oestragole.

When it comes to great sex, Kamhi says that along with soft lighting and
a Barry White CD, herbs and minerals are a woman’s best friend. She
believes the mineral arginine can increase arousal of post-menopausal
women. And that the herb damiana, taken daily, can help a 50-year-old
feel like a newlywed.

But when daily maintenance isn’t enough and it’s time to break out the
nuclear weapons, Kamhi says that directly before sex women should
partake of yohimbe: “It can increases circulation to the genitals,
elevating sexual response. And magnesium before sex increases
circulation to female sex organs and can stimulate a stronger orgasm,”
she claims. Vitamin E, she swears, is a woman’s best friend when it
comes to vaginal dryness. “Women should eat avocados, rich in vitamin E,
and can use it intra-vaginally (using bottled oil) for lubrication.”

People have long used the dinner date as a prelude to seduction but
Kamhi says the reason why some meals end badly and others in the bedroom
all comes down to the menu. She instructs all cooks to light candles
then serve a smoothie made of vanilla (the smell is an aphrodisiac),
soya milk (for the phytoestrogens) and banana (potassium for sex drive)
laced with 30 drops of liquid extract yohimbe, damiana and ginseng.
Follow with oysters on the half shell and asparagus (for its phallic
overtones). Dessert should be limited to chocolate which, as all good
chocoholics know, can stimulate the production of endorphins -feel-good
chemicals.

Then, once in the bedroom with your hormones racing, Kamhi advises you
spend five to ten minutes doing yoga before hitting the sheets. She is
not joking: “Studies have shown that certain yoga postures can be
powerful before sex. For men, a shoulder stand drains blood out of the
lower body and releases stagnation in the genitals. For women, the
butterfly pose (see panel) directs energy to the genitals and opens up
the area often blocked by emotional issues.”

I delicately ask Kamhi, whose boyfriend is 59, how much of her own
advice they have taken as a couple. She is more than happy to talk about
her sex life, brag actually. “We have tried everything I recommend in
the book. We did the yoga positions, took the herbs and ate the foods,
and I have to say, we had great sex!”

she shrieks.

“My boyfriend said the yohimbe worked as well as Viagra, and taking
damiana, I could definitely feel a difference. I’m telling you, the best
night of sex you will ever have is waiting for you at the health food
store.”

The Natural Guide to Great Sex: Improve your Love Life with Nature’s
Alternatives to HRT and Viagra, by Ellen Kamhi, Godsfield Press, £12.99,
is published this month * People with chronic medical conditions, such
as high blood pressure, or those using prescription medications should
consult a doctor before using any herbs for sexual health.

BEST YOGA POSITION FOR SEX

Butterfly pose: this sitting stretch focuses on the inner thighs and
opens the genitals, heightening the sensitivity of this area.

1 Sit up straight on the floor.

2 Breathe deeply. Using your hands, hold the soles of your feet
together, and pull heels to within 12cm of your body.

3 Gently bounce knees up and down, 2-4cm, for two or three minutes.

HERBAL APHRODISIAC

Use liquid extracts of the following, which are available in most health
food stores:

Ginseng, ginger, oat, damiana, muira puama, passionflower.

Combine 20 drops of each extract in one-quarter cup of warm water. You
can add one half-ounce of Amaretto or some other flavored liqueur.

RECIPE FOR LOVERS

FENNEL, ORANGE, POMEGRANATE AND PINE-NUT SALAD

1 fennel bunch, thinly sliced stalks and bulb

1 orange, sliced into wedges (skin removed)

1 whole pomegranate

20 pine nuts

15 mint leaves

In a medium-size salad bowl, combine cut-up fennel and orange slices.
Scoop all the flesh out of the pomegranate and mix with the fennel and
orange slices.

Sprinkle the pine nuts and mint leaves on top of the mixture. Serve
within one hour of preparation.

(You’ll need an extra bowl to spit out the pomegranate seeds after
sucking off the red flesh.)